


sore loser

by LadyMerlin



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banter, Domestic smut, Don't copy to another site, Edward Elric Is A Little Shit, Edward Elric wears a Skirt, Established Relationship, Gratuitous Smut, Lace Panties, Lingerie, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, Rough Sex, Roy Mustang Is Suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:12:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18790006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMerlin/pseuds/LadyMerlin
Summary: Ed loses a bet. Roy loses his mind.(Ed wears a skirt and Roy has no one to blame but himself)





	sore loser

**Author's Note:**

> I've been so hesitant about this, but _so_ many people have helped, I can't even begin to thank you guys enough. Shoutouts and heaps of love to Deminia, [Iginita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iginita/pseuds/kotosk), and [Asuralucier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asuralucier/profile) for amazing betas, and to [Rie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riewa/profile), without whom this idea wouldn't even have existed (thank you for making my friday amazing!) - all of y'all have been godsends and ilu like Ed loves Al <3
> 
> All remaining errors are my own!

“Since I won the bet, you have to do what I want,” Roy reminds Ed, crossing his arms smugly. He knows it annoys Ed, but an annoyed Ed is gorgeous, and Roy loves bothering him, just for the sake of it.

Ed crosses his arms to mirror Roy and clicks his tongue in frustration. “Alright, what do you want, then?”

Roy’s grin widens, like he’s the cat who got the cream _and_ the canary. He knows exactly how to irritate Ed beyond reason, and it’s going to be _glorious_. “I want you to wear a skirt for twenty-four hours. I’ll be kind, I won’t even ask you to wear a mini-skirt, it can be anything you like, for a full day.”

Roy instantly realises that he’s misstepped when, instead of exploding with rage, Ed relaxes, arms falling away from his chest. “What?” Roy asks, genuinely confused at Ed’s reaction.

Ed just smirks and shakes his head before walking away.

It doesn’t feel like a victory and Roy begins to worry. From Ed’s room, Roy can hear the sound of drawers being pulled open and slammed shut. “Be right out,” Ed calls, sounding totally unaffected.

Roy braces himself. Ed’s only ever this calm when he’s beaten Roy at something, generally at his own game.

Ed walks out of his room wearing a short, pink, pleated skirt and a ribbed white tank top short enough to bare his toned midriff.

In a process that takes less than half-a-second, Roy’s entire brain liquefies and his knees go weak. Ed looks like he’s crawled right out of one of Roy’s adolescent fantasies, and he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. Roy’s grateful that he’s sitting down because he doesn’t think his legs could support his weight. Nothing in his life has prepared him for this; no one, man or woman, has ever been as attractive to Roy as Ed is, right now. Roy’s cock stirs and he resists the urge to cover his lap with a pillow.

The fabric of the skirt is stiff enough that the pleats don’t lie flat, giving the impression that Ed’s hips are much wider and more feminine than they actually are. The skirt is so short that it barely skims the top of Ed’s thighs, and it’s surprising that Roy can’t see the hem of his boxers, unless… Roy blinks hard, trying to recover from the realisation that Ed probably isn’t _wearing_ boxers at all.

Ed’s smirk widens as he smooths the hem of the skirt over his thighs, and as he bends down to turn on the television, Roy thinks he can see the tantalizing line of Ed’s dick through the skirt. His mouth waters. Roy has seen Ed turn the tv on with his toes – this performance is entirely deliberate, from the emphasized swish of the skirt to the way that the skirt hikes up and up and _up_ when Ed bends, showing nothing but miles of tanned skin underneath. Roy can’t tear his eyes away.

“Mind if I play a video game?” Ed asks nonchalantly when he straightens up. Roy shakes his head, dumb with shock. Ed grins at him and sits down.

In his lap.

Roy’s hands automatically come up to support him, because it’s not like his lap is wide enough that Ed can sit comfortably, but when his fingertips land on the bare skin of Ed’s thighs, his thought process stalls all over again, like a shitty old second-hand car. Roy wonders if he can trade his brain in for something less useless.

“Uh, there’s plenty of space to sit other than my lap,” Roy suggests, choking back the other thoughts that are rushing to the front of his brain. He’s not even sitting in the centre of the sofa, there’s tonnes of space beside him.

Ed shrugs, flashing a smile over his shoulder at Roy. “I’m fine here, thanks.” He’s going to be the death of Roy.

Ed’s just tall enough that the back of his neck is at eye-level for Roy. There’s a mark there which Roy himself left, not three days ago, just beginning to fade. It’d been below collar level for Ed’s usual t-shirts, but this tank top does nothing to hide it; it doesn’t hide _anything_. Ed’s biceps and abs are on glorious display, and Roy’s still a little worried that if he looks down at where his hands are resting on Ed’s thighs, he might short circuit for the final time. He won’t ever recover from this.

Roy chances it anyway, just as the game boots up and Ed selects a player. Some racing game that he’s seen Ed play before. It doesn’t matter, because the skirt is –

It’s provocative. Ed’s body is amazing, but it’s nothing Roy hasn’t seen before. He’d seen it just this morning, when Ed rolled out of their bed and walked into the bathroom buck naked. He’d seen it the night before, when Ed had ridden him to completion. Something about the skirt makes it _different_ . Not better or worse, just different; because Ed’s body so close he can almost _taste_ it but it’s still covered, an almost infuriating tease. Roy wants to lift up the skirt, he wants to slide his hands underneath it, he wants to feel Ed squirming beneath his touch, he _wants_ –

Ed shifts and Roy’s grip on Ed’s thighs tightens, instinctively trying to hold Ed in place. Ed’s weight is resting on Roy’s cock and it feels almost too good to handle. Ed pays him no heed and continues playing his game. Ed shifts again and everything else flies out of his mind. Roy’s cock stiffens and he tries to will it down, summoning images of Olivier, or his mother. None of it helps, and Roy shifts underneath Ed, trying to avoid Ed’s weight in any way he can.

Ed seems totally engrossed in the game but Roy isn’t sure how much of it is a façade. Even though he’s paying enough attention to the game to be winning, all his movements seem calculated to make Roy lose his entire _mind_ . Ed rocks backwards into Roy’s lap and wriggles against Roy’s erection when he wins a round, and there’s _no way_ Ed hasn’t noticed it.

“Didn’t know you were so interested in video games,” Ed comments lightly, proving Roy’s point. “I mean, some games have definitely turned me on, but, I never thought there was anything sexy about Mario Kart.” Ed rocks back again, pressing his back to Roy’s chest and pushing Roy’s cock against the small of his back. Roy’s hands squeeze around Ed’s thighs, desperately. The hem of the skirt inches to cover Roy’s hands.

Roy can’t help it. He slides his hands further up until they reach Ed’s groin, and when he feels something soft and textured instead of bare skin, it’s like his hands aren’t listening to his mind anymore. He lifts the skirt around Ed’s waist to reveal his cock trapped inside a pair of lacy pink-and-white striped panties. They look so much like candy cane that Roy’s mouth waters. He cups Ed’s bulge with one hand and Ed arches into it, forcing his ass down against Roy’s groin. The thought – the sheer _concept_ of this pretty little package, all wrapped up, sitting in his lap –

Something in Roy snaps, _hard_.

He snatches the controller out of Ed’s hand and stabs at it to pause the game, dropping it onto the floor. He doesn’t care if it breaks, he’ll get Ed a new one. It’s effortless to lift Ed off his lap as he stands up, and drop him face down onto the couch where they’d just been sitting. Ed doesn’t protest, just turns and grins at Roy, utterly shameless. Roy’s so hard he could drill a hole through the wall.

Roy gets on his knees behind Ed and pushes the skirt up to reveal the scrap of lace masquerading as underwear. It’s _devastating_. He thumbs at Ed’s hole through the lace, wondering if the fabric feels as nice as it looks against sensitive skin. Ed’s quiet sigh almost guarantees that it does.

He tugs the striped fabric aside and bends down to press his mouth against Ed’s hole, pressing his tongue into the crevasse, kissing him like it’s a mouth. Ed whines and presses back but Roy doesn’t let him, holding him still with firm hands on his thighs. He licks and sucks and bites until Ed’s erect too, straining at the front of the panties. The noises Ed makes are utterly delicious and Roy’s reluctant to pull back, but Roy’s own need is pressing.

It takes a second to find one of the many bottles of lube they’ve stashed around the house. The closest one is stashed behind their Lord of the Rings box-set, and they end up using it every time they have a marathon (Ed’s into Aragorn and Roy’s into _everyone_ ). When he turns around, Ed is watching him with a smirk on his face, sliding the panties down in a move that actually makes Roy’s cock throb with desire. “No,” Roy hears himself say, “keep them on.”

Ed pouts, sticking out his lower lip and doing nothing to disguise the wickedness in his eyes. “If you ruin these, you’re buying me new ones. These were _expensive_ ,” he threatens.

Roy’s breath hitches at the thought of Ed in expensive lingerie, silk and lace and satin. He unbuckles his belt and unzips the front of his trousers, pulling his dick out from the opening of his boxers. It’s hot and hard in his hand, getting harder at the thought of Ed wearing something like this underneath every regular pair of jeans. “I’ll buy you enough that you could wear one every day, if you wanted,” Roy promises. “I didn’t even know you were into this…”

Ed shrugs. “I didn’t know _you_ were into this. I’ve always liked skirts and stuff, but it’s risky, sometimes. Don’t think I won’t hold you to that.”

“What about dresses? Stockings? Can I buy you those?” Roy asks, increasingly breathless. The fabric of the panties has bunched up to cover Ed’s hole, and Roy has to tug them aside before he can slide his finger into Ed, covered in slick. “Would you wear garters for me? Or heels?”

“You’re a proper pervert aren’t you, Mustang?” Ed asks, pushing back into Roy’s touch, and Roy can’t even deny it, not with a straight face. “I’ve never tried heels, but I’ll try anything once. The rest, well. Let’s just say I’ve got a lot more where these came from.” Roy’s finger slips accidentally, pushing even deeper into Ed, making him grunt. Roy pulls out his index finger and returns with two, admiring how Ed stretches for him, the sight framed by bright candy-cane striped panties.

“Enough?” he asks, when Ed’s hole starts twitching around Roy’s fingers. He still feels a little tight, and ordinarily, Roy would take more time with prep, but he’s _aching_ and if he doesn’t get inside Ed soon, well…

“Yeah,” Ed says through gritted teeth, “still a little lose from last night anyway.”

Roy swears viciously at the thought, just like Ed had (probably) intended. He pushes himself up to his knees and roughly slicks up his own cock. Then he holds Ed’s hip with one hand and feeds his cock into Ed’s hole, steadily and without pause. Ed groans beneath him, but he’s not the only one. Ed’s tight and hot and _glorious_ around Roy, and it’s all he can do to not just spend himself instantly.

“Ready?” he asks, because he doesn’t really want to hurt Ed, even if he does want to fuck him raw.

“Get _on_ with it,” Ed demands, and Roy does.

There’s nothing tender about it, nothing sweet. Roy’s not bothering to be particularly careful and Ed clearly doesn’t mind, if the way he’s moaning is anything to go by. His thrusts are firm and sure, and Ed is melting for him, like butter around a hot knife. The angle isn’t right for Roy to bury himself in Ed fully, but it’s just right for Roy to hit Ed’s sweet spot. The clank of his belt buckle is the perfect accompaniment to the slick sound of skin-against-lube-against-skin, and Ed’s voice when Roy fists at his skirt and drags him backwards to meet his thrusts. Ed’s cries get louder as Roy picks up speed, and it’s the perfect feedback mechanism, making Roy go faster, thrust harder.

Roy comes first, groaning as he buries himself inside Ed, spilling hot and wet inside him. Ed huffs and reaches for his own cock, but Roy gets there first and bats Ed’s hand away, still panting from his orgasm. Purely by feel he pulls Ed’s cock into his hand, uncaring even as he hears the seams of Ed’s panties popping. “Oh _fuck_ ,” Ed swears, dropping his head forward limply, pressing it into the arm of the sofa.

Roy wraps his fingers around Ed’s cock and strokes him roughly, picking up a quick pace. His own cock is still buried in Ed’s ass and he can feel Ed’s muscles clenching as he nears his own climax. It doesn’t take long after that, for Ed to spill all over Roy’s fingers. Roy keeps stroking until Ed’s squirming back against him, forcing Roy’s cock deeper into him as he tries to get away from Roy’s fingers. He only stops when Ed’s ragged pants turn into desperate mewls, noises that Roy would much rather be drinking from his mouth than like this.

They’ve probably made a mess of the couch and of all their clothes, and the way his belt buckle is pressing into Ed’s bare ass can’t be comfortable, but Ed collapses the minute Roy lets go, and Roy goes with him, pinning him to the sofa with his weight, still pressed inside Ed.  

He can feel Ed breathing hard beneath him, and the flush of his release has spread all the way down from his face to his neck and shoulders. Roy kisses Ed’s mottled bicep and his skin is hot beneath Roy’s lips. Roy can feel Ed’s pulse hammering beneath his skin, matching his own.

“If I played my game while you were inside me, like this, do you think I could win another round before you came?” Ed muses, when he finally catches his breath, a task that is made all the harder by the fact that Roy’s compressing his lungs with his body weight.

Roy shivers at the thought, feeling himself beginning to stir in response to Ed’s words. “If you keep the skirt on, I’m willing to give it a try.”

He can hear the grin in Ed’s voice when he replies. “Get up then, I’m not riding your dick while you’re wearing pants.”

Roy rolls his eyes even as he draws back, pulling out of Ed. Come dribbles out of Ed’s hole and Roy thumbs at it gently, snagging at Ed’s rim with one fingertip. Ed wriggles his ass in a way that makes Roy laugh, and the skirt falls down over his ass, covering his nakedness. Ed gets up gingerly, leaning heavily on Roy’s arm. Some part of Roy is delighted to know that Ed’s sore enough to accept his support. “I’ll get a towel so we don’t totally ruin the couch.”  

“My darling,” Roy says once Ed is upright and steady on his own feet, pushing his trousers down to the ground and kicking them aside. “I don’t give a damn about the upholstery.”

Ed rolls his eyes in turn. “Alright, if you say so. But I’m not sitting in the wet spot; winner's privilege.”

Roy can’t help it, he drags Ed close and kisses him _hard_ , sealing their lips together and tangling their tongues. God, he loves this man. Ed responds enthusiastically, unbuttoning Roy’s shirt while their lips are still locked, pushing it off Roy’s shoulders. When Ed pulls back, they're both breathing hard, and Ed's pupils are gorgeously blown. He looks wrecked, and Roy doubts he looks any better. Ed wriggles out of the ruined panties and hands them to Roy, whose fingers clench around the fabric like it's a lifeline. It takes every inch of self-control to not bring them up to his face to smell them, but then Ed pulls his tank top off to reveal even more bare skin and Roy’s cock twitches, visibly.

He can’t deny that Ed has won in every conceivable way. "I'm going to die a very happy man," Roy says lowly, like he's sharing a confidence or a private joke, one hand on Ed's bare hip, and another cupped around his cheek. 

Ed doesn't reply but turns his head to kiss Roy's palm softly; he's not great with words but Roy has never doubted that Ed's in the same boat as he is, in their relationship. And then Ed grins, eyes sparkling with mischief. “C’mon then Roy, don’t be a sore loser.”

Roy laughs out loud as he lowers himself to the couch. “I may be the loser, but I doubt I’m going to be the sore one.” He lifts Ed’s skirt as Ed moves to sit in Roy’s lap, getting a good look at his glorious ass. He can't quite help but cop a feel, making Ed huff.  

“Promises, promises,” Ed mutters, under his breath, snagging his controller as he drops into Roy’s lap, carefully.

Roy grins as the skirt bunches up between Ed’s back and Roy’s stomach. “Wanna bet? If I come before you win the game, I'll do whatever you want for an entire day.”

Ed grins back at him as the game starts up “You never learn, do you?” Ed leans back against Roy's chest and settles into Roy’s lap, adjusting the skirt until it lies flat across his lap. Roy’s hands wrap around Ed's waist, coming to rest on his toned stomach, just above the waistband of the skirt. Ed selects his character on the screen. “Let’s play, then.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

and, later, when Roy loses the bet (because we know he will)...

"Riza, I'm begging you, _please_ lend me your skirt!"

Riza clicks her tongue and shakes her head. She's not glaring at him, but it's close. "How many times have I told you to not involve me in your weird sex games?"

Roy moans and covers his face with his hands. "It's _not_ a sex game, I swear to god Riza, I lost a _bet_." They've been through this, already.

Riza sighs and bends down to stroke Black Hayate, who looks up at her and wags his tail, tongue lolling. "Are you going to have sex while wearing my skirt." Somehow, the way she asks it makes it more a statement than a question.

Roy considers it and decides it's in his best interest to not lie to her. Riza is, second only to his mother, the scariest person he knows. "Maybe," he admits, underplaying the odds slightly.

"Then, no. I'm not lending you my skirt. Try Maes." She gets up from the cafe chair. Roy can pay for her drink, for making her deal with this.

"Maes will never lend me Gracia's clothes," Roy whines, hoping that she takes pity on him. He wants to do this for Ed, but he's not entirely sure he can go out and buy his own skirt. He's just not sure he's capable.

Riza quirks an eyebrow. "I didn't say Gracia, Roy. I said _Maes_."

Roy sits up and his jaw drops. "Maes owns a skirt?"

Riza shakes her head and turns towards the door. "Have a good day, Roy. Come, Hayate, good boy."

Behind her, she hears Roy murmur, "kinky bastard." She shakes her head. He's one to talk.

**Author's Note:**

> happy mother's day?????????
> 
> (pls send love, i crave that mineral)


End file.
